what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
