What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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