and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
