some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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