capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
