everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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