Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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