Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
not ubering you a puppy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
