please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
