He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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