Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
