dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
