I love black thongs
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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