I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
