i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
