I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She's JV to your varsity
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
