Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
