He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
