He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
