I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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