Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
