Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I supernannyed him into submission
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
