summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize