That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
