Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Rumble strips road head = magical
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
