Im at strip club and am horny
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize