I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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