me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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