Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
