i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
