so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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