Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
