i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
