i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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