Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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