it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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