i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize