it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
