i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
