no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize