Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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