plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
a search helicopter?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
