I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
