Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
