I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
