went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
