There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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