he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
