If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
