i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
