dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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