Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
