I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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