I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
