is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
