she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am available for nakedness
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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