Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
