i just google imaged poop.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he fucked my hip out of place.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
