i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
