Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
